Mercenaries: The Hangover
by Mercs2Girl
Summary: Blanco, Carmona and Solano are all dead thanks to the 3 mercs. They decide to party. What do you get when you get a lot of booze, crazy mercs and one long night? Read to find out!
1. And So It Begins

_**AN: I totally got inspiration for this by a few things. One, seeing the Hangover Part II as a first date movie.**_

_**Secondly, a review made on my "I Kissed a Mercenary" story by ILIKEMESOMEPIE. ( FAN FICTION .net/u/2158146/) **_

_**He said, at the end of his lovely review; "And to cock block all horny 13 year olds out there...MISHA IN A BIKINI..."  
>and thus, this crossover was born. <strong>_

_**Also helped by discussing it with my friend in the real world, who on Fanfiction is known as The Great Deceiver, (_**FAN FICTION **_.net/u/2879601/)**_

_**So, here it goes. Mercenaries meet ultimate crazy adventures.; MUHAHAHAHA!**_

* * *

><p>It started just as it had ended, the party that is. The three mercenaries had collectively taken down Blanco, Carmona, and finally, Ramon Solano. And of course, what better way to celebrate their victory, revenge and pay-cheques, than to party it up with alcohol? (What else is there to party with?) This was only the beginning to the craziness that would occur on the day after.<p>

* * *

><p>Mattias lugged in a wooden crate that carried all sorts of various types of alcohol, including tequila, beer, vodka, rum, and whiskey. He had gotten all of it from the Pirates, for doing a quick outpost job against the Allied Nations who had yet to clear out of Venezuela.<p>

"Oh good, you've got the booze." Jennifer Mui said, walking into the main front room of the villa, her curvaceous hips swaying side to side. She went to reach in for the bottle of tequila, when Mattias caught her hand.

"Save it for later." He gave her a look from behind his black sunglasses. She rolled her eyes, and huffed, letting go of the neck of the tall bottle.

"Fine…" She whined in defeat. "For later then."

* * *

><p><strong>LATER…<br>**

"Aye, and I didn't get it because she knew I had that bottle of chocolate syrup and she promised…" Ewan couldn't even finish his story because he burst out laughing along with the rest of the group, aside from Fiona, who had been forced to hear this story when she had been left alone with him once. She wasn't exactly all that pleased that they were drinking so much tonight, especially since she was trying to get them another new job as soon as possible. She sat in the one side of the couch, arms folded firmly against her chest.

"Fiona, cheer up. Have a drink." Chris suggested.

"And who's supposed to take care of all of you tomorrow when you're all so hung-over you can't even.."

"We'll be fine." Mattias interrupted, giving her a smile. "Come on…" He slid deeper into the chair, legs up on the arm as he slouched into the leather. They had pulled all the couches, and chairs and a table to make a bit of a lounge to drink around in on the upper floor of what had been Solano's villa. The mercs were all lounging around, in chairs, on couches, on the floor. It didn't matter. As long as they had their drinks, they were happy.

"Go on, Fi, hell, I'll even pour you a drink." Jen spoke up, sliding off her end of the couch to the table. She slipped her a shot of straight up vodka.

"Fine." She sighed, taking the shot back in one go. She figured one drink couldn't hurt, right?

* * *

><p>Soon, Fiona was in a daze. The room was spinning, the lights were flashing, music was blaring and the mercenaries had lost it. She blinked a few times, while attempting to stand. She semi-tripped, but caught herself on the arm of the red couch, tipsy-toodling away from the lounge and down the hallway to where her room was. She had no sense of time, or what the others were doing. All she wanted to do was to lie down. Once she got to her bedroom, she collapsed into bed, burying her face into her pillow.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>THE MORNING AFTER…<strong>

Jennifer's almond-shaped eyes blinked awake. She felt she was lying on something relatively soft, and she figured she was in a bed, somewhere. The only defining feature she could see was the white ceiling, but that didn't help her. The entire villa was painted white. She had a huge headache, and she was glad that the drooping curtains were partially blocking the sunlight of the Venezuelan sun from coming in from the window. She waited for a moment, and then went to roll out of the right side of the bed, when she stopped before hitting the shirtless, dark-skinned, muscular, broad-shouldered back belonging to Chris. At least from what Jen could see above the covers, he looked to not be wearing anything. Jen had a mini panic attack, and just had to see if she was wearing anything at all. Her brown eyes widened when she saw her naked self. She immediately went to roll over to get out of bed the other way when she hit flesh this time from under the covers.

"Owww…" A feminine voice mumbled from underneath the pillow.

"Fiona?" Jen whisper-hissed. The lump from under the covers slowly rolled over and sat up. To Jen's surprise, it wasn't the familiar red-haired Aussie. "Eva?" The mechanic looked tiredly in her direction, pulling up the bra strap that was sitting way down by her elbow.

"Why are you naked?" Eva asked bluntly.  
>"I…uh…don't know…" Jen stammered, crossing her arms over her breasts. She felt way too out there. "Why don't you or…him have anything on?" She looked over to her right at Chris who was still sound asleep snoring, "Why are we all in the nuddy pants?"<p>

"The what?" Eva gave her a confused look.

"Naked!'

"I have no idea."

* * *

><p>Jen gave her a worried glance, then slid down to the end of the bed to get out. She looked around the floor, searching through piles of clothes to find her own. She dressed haphazardly, still unable to find her boots. Eva flopped back down into the covers again. The British mercenary walked out into the main room. The couches were amok, turned over, and somehow made into a makeshift fort. The booze bottles were either completely empty, or with one swig left in the bottom. They were scattered among the table and floor. Misha was on his couch, splayed out, one leg hooked over the back of it, one down. He was of course, passed out. Jen stormed out past him, and her eyes soon fixated on the Russian pilot.<p>

"Oh my God, what the hell are you wearing?" She shielded her eyes, but it didn't do much, seeing as the image was now burned into her mind. He suddenly woke up.

"Huh? What is going- Jen? What's wrong?" He asked, completely clueless.

"Take a look at yourself." So, that's just what Misha did.

"Heh." He chuckled. At that moment, Eva groggily walked in, yawning loudly, belching at the end.

"Misha, why are you wearing _my_ bikini?" She looked at him. He in fact, was wearing her bright yellow polka dot bikini, both the bottom, _and_ the top, though one string was falling down, and his chest hair was escaping the cup of the bikini top. Suddenly, from the couch behind Jen and Eva, Ewan sprang up.

"Aye, did someone say a bikini?" He looked around the women, and then went, "Oh, ugh." and laid back down on the couch. Jen looked between them all, fear in her eyes.

"What the bloody hell happened to us last night?"


	2. Remembering The Night

_Chapter Two: _

Eva looked back at Jen and shrugged. "All I remember is drinking that whiskey and…" She held up her hands with the shrug. Jen was still hiding her eyes from seeing Misha. It was just so wrong in so many ways. All that hair, and flab and not to mention, man-junk hanging out. She had turned her back to him now.

"I don't remember a thing." Jen confided, looking at the ground, and at her bare toes. She really didn't. Not at all. Misha slowly peeled himself off the couch and stood to his feet.

"Any idea where clothes are?"

"Try the stairs…I saw something there." Eva suggested. The pilot nodded, walked past the two women and looked at the staircase. His outfit was there, along with the blonde mohawked Swede. Mattias was snoring, face down on the stairs. "Hey…Mattias…wake up. You're using pants for pillow. I need pants." Misha gave him a gentle tap on the shoulder with his bare foot. The Viking looked up, sunglasses half busted on his face, with a broken lens and bent frame.

"Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing? Misha, why the hell are you in a bikini?"

"Don't know. Let go of pants." Mattias looked down. He had been using the pant leg as a pillow.

"Oh, sorry Misha." Misha shook his head and pulled them back on, still keeping the bikini bottom, but ditched the top and left it on the railing of the staircase. Mattias stood up and walked up the five stairs until he hit the top. He looked around after taking off his sunglasses. "Hey guys, I can hear Chris snoring, but where's Fiona?"

Jen looked at him, then around the room. "I thought she might have been in her room but…"

"We were in her room." Eva pointed out.

"So, where the hell is she?" Jen asked in a huff. She was a little concerned since she knew Fiona didn't drink all that much. Eva flipped a strand of her dark brown auburn hair out of her eyes. Mattias slowly ambled over.

"I'd hate to say this..."

"Say what Mattias?" Jen gave him a hard stare.

"I think we've lost Fiona."

* * *

><p>"Lost her?" Jen exclaimed. "Are you mad? She couldn't have got <em>lost<em>!" Mattias gave her a look back.

"Hey…she never drinks. Maybe she just walked out. Maybe she's in her car. I'll go and look." Mattias shrugged, and did just that. By the time he came back, Chris had eventually ambled in, tossing on a green army t-shirt. Jen gave him a dark glare as he walked over towards the others.

"You and I need to talk." She took him by the arm and dragged him off into another room, and shut the door. Eventually after the awkward silence was lifted, the others stopped looking in that direction, trying to hear what they were saying.

* * *

><p>"You and I, we didn't…did we?" Jen began, brows furrowed slightly.<p>

"Didn't do what?"

"Don't play stupid with me Chris. Did we or did we not fuck last night?"

"Woah, that's whatcha mean." Chris chuckled. He shifted his weight on his feet, and leaned back against the wall. "Not that I recall, but I'm not really sure…"

"You're not really sure?" Jen exclaimed, her mouth falling agape.

"No." He repeated, now crossing his tree-trunk like arms across his massive chest. Jen gave him a look, and then started pacing a little bit, her bare feet hardly making a sound on the tiled floor. She sighed a bit. "So you finally banged me, big deal."

Jennifer turned, stopping in her tracks. She gave him a nasty look. "Big deal?" She snapped loudly, grabbing his shirt collar from off his thick neck. "Do you remember if you used an English riding coat?"

"I…what the hell you talkin' about?" Jen looked a little peevish. She answered him quietly.

"Did you or did you not use a condom?"

"How should I know?"

"Ugh!" Jen scowled, and then stormed out.

* * *

><p>"So where the hell could Fiona be?" Ewan pondered aloud.<p>

"I have no idea." Mattias replied, fiddling with one of the bottles on the table as he sat on the couch. Suddenly, Jen remerged from the dark hallway, and in one swift motion, she grabbed one of the bottles with a tad of liquid left in it, and drank it down in one gulp. The rum that had been sitting out burned down her throat quickly. She slammed the green bottle down on the table.

"All right, we need to find Fiona. God knows what she's gotten herself into."

"I'll get us a ride." Eva offered, as she started down the stairs to her garage. Jen sat on the couch beside Mattias. However, she stood up again after feeling something poking her in the side. She looked, and she reached for what was stuck between the arm and the first cushion. She pulled at the black material, and out came her boots. At least she had all her clothes returned to her now. "There they are." She slid them on, zipping them up on the insides.

* * *

><p>"So, where do we start?" came Chris' booming, low voice as he entered the room again.<p>

"Does anyone remember anything at _all_?" Jennifer asked, looking anxiously between them all. She was met by shrugs and heads shaking.

"Wait! Wait, it's coming back…slowly." Misha piped up. "We drink, we laugh at Irish." He mumbled, counting off the things on his fingers. He then pulled up the bikini top strap so it sat back on his shoulder. "Then we…OH! We left!"

"We left here?" Mattias scratched his head where his mohawk had fallen over during the night. His hair laid flat against his skull like a bad comb over.

"Da! We did, we did boss! Went to Pirates to get more drinks." Misha exclaimed.

* * *

><p>The mercenaries and their employees soon headed out with Eva, except for Mattias who offered to stay at the villa just in case Fiona decided to show up there. The five of them shoved into a Vulcan 4x4. "Her car is still here." Eva pointed out as she drove past it.<p>

"She wouldn't drink and drive." Jen pointed out, glancing around the truck. "That's not her."

Once they reached the edge of the water, north of Maracaibo, they stopped and snapped up a few of the motor boats docked by the small little houses. They went across the little bay to the islands where the pirates were currently taking up their home residence. Here was where the Rastafarian Jamaican Pirates lived. They were one of the only factions Mattias _hadn't_ pissed off. So, Devil Buoy and the others welcomed them with open arms, and open bottles of rum.

* * *

><p>"Ah, whap'mam. How you do? Ya here for da rum?"<p>

"Actually, we want to know what happened here last night." Ewan pointed out, crossing her arms as he stood next to Jen.

"Ay you alright man, you and da foxy British Merc come round here, hot red head too. Smoke a blow or two wit us."

"What?" Jen asked, a little confused. Ewan chuckled nervously.

"Y'all come, partyin' it up wit us. Then y'all join us for the hit up, smokin' sum green."

"Um, what do you…"

"Aye, he means we smoked some pot while we were drunk. Not a big deal…" Ewan started.

"Smoking pot?" Jen said, still in shock. Ewan looked all around between each person.

"I think I remember what happened…"

* * *

><p><strong>LAST NIGHT:<br>**

"_Come on, party with pirates, they crazy!" Misha laughed, tugging on Ewan's arm. The mercs and company followed the Russian pilot closely as they went up to Devil Buoy's hut where reggae music was blaring loudly. It was as stereotypical as you could get it._

"_Come on in bredda, wassup mah man?"_

"_Not a lot, what is going on?" Misha asked, looking around._

"_Come, come, we got 'nuff to spread round, all ya'll." The leader of the pirates led them all into the main room where a lot of other Jamaicans were sitting around, drinking and smoking, and having a good time. "Come, have sum odda beer." Misha chuckled, taking one, and passing them down to the mercenaries. Misha plopped down in the corner and got talking with some of the pirates about his new job. Jen walked forward and sat around in a group with Ewan, and Fiona. _

"_Hey, it's the British Merc. Come, trya dis." A woman with a bandana on her head handed Jen a pipe. "Go on, sum of da world's finest blow right der."_

"_Oh, why not? I'm already pissed drunk…" She slowly inhaled from the short bong. "Oh..that…is the good stuff…bloody 'ell." She sat back against the wall. "Go on Fiona…" She leaned towards her. "You know you want to…"_

"_I…" The Aussie hesitated._

"_Pleeeeeaaase?" Jen whined, handing her the bong right in her face. The Brit was leaning into Fiona, right up in her personal space._

"_Okay, okay fineee…give it here." She took it, and without preparing herself, just breathed it in, but choked loudly, soon falling back onto a pillow. "Oh my God…the room's spinning…so dizzy….dizzy…."_

* * *

><p><strong>BACK IN THE PRESENT…<strong>

"It was pretty bad, for Fiona's sake anyway." Ewan pointed out as he finished his story. Jen looked around, biting her lip.

"Oh don't tell me you've not had a hit of pot before in your life." Chris asked, crossing his arms.

"No." Jen denied it. "That was…the first time in my life that I have ever-"

"Bull shit. You do a lot of crap in University." Jen gave him a pouty look.

"Okay fine! But it was just that one time…"

"GUYS! Shut up! We need to find Fiona." Eva interrupted them all. She gave a nod to Devil Buoy. "Thank you for uh..helping us. Now, where did we go after that?"

"Hmm.." The Jamaican paused. "Dem red head said sumthin' 'bout the Marxists." Eva then turned on her heels and started towards the boats. The others began to follow her.

"Weh ya go?" One of the guys with long dreads asked, drinking a beer.

"To the Guerilla's!" She called back.

"Fine, fine. Mi gaan!"


	3. Jungle Brawl

_Chapter Three:_

Soon, the mercenaries all headed back through the streets of Maracaibo on foot, as their Vulcan had been stolen in their absence, probably by the Pirates themselves. Jen was at the head of the group, being the fastest of them all of course.

"So they said they sent us off to the Guerrillas?"

"On a boat." Ewan added, wiping the layer of sweat that had formed on his forehead away with the back of his hand.

"On one of their ships." Eva pointed out, squinting into the distance, her hand shielding her eyes from the blazing hot sun. "I mean, how hard could that be to find?"

* * *

><p>A half hour later, they were all fed up with walking in the sweltering heat of the Venezuelan sun and they jacked from some poor old guy a rusted, worn out van. It was better than nothing though and Eva once more took up the driver's seat, driving at least twenty above the speed limit. "Okay, we're now driving along the coast, but I don't see a…"<p>

"There it is, crashed up on the shoreline." Chris pointed out, shifting so he was right in the middle of the two front seats on his knees. Eva's brown eyes looked up and sure enough, there it was. Smoking, and partially on fire. Eva pulled up to the side of the road, which was near the bridge, hovering above the crashed yellow and green Pirate ship. Upon further inspection, they saw that the boat was on its side, burnt in various places, as well as smashed to shit up front.

* * *

><p>"For being drunk and quite possibly high, it's not that bad." Jen replied as Eva started driving across the bridge so that they could go to the Guerrilla's place. Misha started to laugh.<p>

"Hey, Misha fly jet, not boat. But could probably 'fly' boat if Misha try…" The pilot chuckled lowly. Eva rolled her eyes.

"Look, there are foot prints leading up the bank here, to the main headquarters of the Marxists." Jen pointed out, looking over at them. "And they've got the Converse treads."  
>"They're Fiona's then." Chris added as he started trekking up the steep hill, breathing hard as it was.<p>

"Which means," Jen puffed, following the dark skinned man. "Fiona headed that way."

* * *

><p>Once the group was up the hill, covered in sweat, and hot from the sun, they met up with the Guerrilla leader, Marcella Acosta. "Last night, you…" She pointed to Chris, pulling her thick black hair off her face, revealing that her left eye was swollen and black around the edges. She also had a little purple bruise on her cheek. "Came running in here like a damned maniac. Then you calmed down for a bit, and talked to one of my guys, Paco."<p>

"Huh?" Chris looked around the room.

"Tell them what happened last night." Marcella told him.

"Well, you crashed the boat." A man with a thick moustache started to talk. "Then came running up here, and just started shit. Fighting, yelling, the like. Then you say you have the 'munchies' and start eating our food." Paco explained, rubbing his face.

* * *

><p><strong>LAST NIGHT:<strong>

_"Hey, come on, give us somethin' to eat dammit!" Ewan barked at the men sitting around a fire. Mattias was with him, and soon the men bullied them to get them something to eat. It was chilli mixed with some kind of weird jungle Marxist protein. The women had struggled up the hill as both were high and intoxicated._

_ "Bloody fucking hell, I can't see straight…" Jen cursed. Fiona was next to her and was giggling uncontrollably. _

_"Hahaha, you're fineeeee…."_

* * *

><p><em>Eva had meanwhile gotten ahead of them, and was talking to Marcella, her mind in a faraway place.<em>

_ "What do you mean you want to 'talk to me'? Huh? What the hell is that?" Eva growled.  
>"Woah, hold on, we just wanted to talk, nothing more." Marcella explained, trying to keep her calm. "We just wanted to thank you and…"<em>

_ "Thank –you my ass!" Eva then lunged forward, striking the leader of the Guerrillas right in the eye socket, sending her on her ass. "You should have left well enough alone Acosta!"_

* * *

><p><em>Meanwhile, Mattias and Chris had walked over to the edge of the camp, eyeing their vehicles. They found what they wanted, Mattias chuckling.<em>

_ "You ready for some fun?"_

_"Hell yeah."_

* * *

><p><strong>BACK IN THE PRESENT…<strong>

"What 'bout the shiner you've got Marcella?" Ewan asked, chuckling. She glared at him with her one good eye. Then she looked over to Eva with an even worse glare.

"That one decided scrapping with me while drunk was a great idea. Fortunately for her, I was also, drunk."

"Ooo, bar fi-..er, jungle brawl!" Ewan exclaimed. He got looks that would kill him if they could from both women. Eva shrugged.

"Sorry…"

"It's fine, really."

"Hey, at least it brings out your hair colour." Ewan grinned. Chris shoved him back.

"You're not helping Irish." Chris grumbled. "So then what happened?" He asked Marcella.

"Then you left."

"What?" Eva looked at her.

"In what exactly?" Jen raised a thin brow.

"A tank." Jen and Eva's jaws dropped, as they exchanged worried, wide eyed glances.

"Heh, I remember it now." Chris gave them a wide smirk, smoking a fresh cigar. "We went to the A.N and blew a ton of shit up."


	4. Allied Hatred

_Chapter Four:_

"Look, I think I can see where Mattias drove the tank through." Chris pointed out at a trail of fallen trees and flattened grass that went down the huge hillside from the PLAV's home base. Patches of the grass were burnt and there were muddy tank tracks across the road. The big man started to slow descend the hillside, the others hesitantly following him. He picked his way down, avoiding holes and other death traps while following the trail of Mattias and Chris' wake from last night.

* * *

><p>After a good half hour of bush whacking, they finally reached a paved road, tired, hot, covered in bug bites and everyone was drenched with their own sweat. But, once they were out on the road, the walk wasn't all that long, and soon they came across the Allied Nations Head Quarters.<p>

Er, rather, what _used_ to be the Allied Nations HQ. The entire camp had been decimated; the tent was laid out, vehicles tipped and on fire, the fence smashed to bits, and no one was around.

"Holy shit." Jen stated, her eyes looking around, flames reflecting in her dark brown orbs. Chris stood back beside her, arms crossed.

"This could be bad…"

"No wonder Mattias stayed behind."

* * *

><p><strong>LAST NIGHT…<strong>

_"WOO! BUMPER CARS!" Mattias roared as he proceeded to drive the PLAV tank right through to the other side of the AN HQ, smashing through fence, buildings and probably people. Chris was on the .50 cal machine gun, blasting away. Because apparently, shooting at your own allies is a good idea when drunk and quite possibly high. The pair of mercenaries proceeded to eliminate the entire camp and all its occupants…so they thought…_

* * *

><p><strong>PRESENT DAY…<strong>

Suddenly, a round of light machine gun fire cut through the silent muggy air like a knife. The mercs instinctively dropped, and Eva and Ewan soon followed suit. "What the bloody hell?" Jen yelled, reaching for her own rifle to shoot back, when she had the sudden realisation that she left it back the PMC. "Fuck!" She cursed, rolling over to get behind cover of a wrecked Humvee. The others soon followed, they caught sight of about ten AN soldiers shooting at them with an array of weaponry from Light Machine guns to pistols, to rocket launchers. They were here to get revenge.

Chris looked around, firing out his pistol that he kept holstered on his pant leg all the time. He saw that if they flanked the soldiers, they could very well steal their ride.

"Guys…go that way and get the Humvee. I'll distract'em." Chris chuckled, running out to less cover behind a large rock. Jen took the lead and started to sneak around the perimeter of the HQ at a crouch. Chris then stood up, his hands up in the air, gun on the rock. "Hey guys…listen….about last night…"

"Go on Jacobs…" One called out.

"Well…" His brown eyes watched the others slowly creep up to the still-running Humvee behind the AN soldiers' backs. "Last night, since we uh, just got Solano and all…" He drawled on, stalling for time.

"Go on merc, what the hell is the meaning for all this?"

"Let's just put it this way. Celebrations take some time and uh…we were drunk." And at that point, the three others had snuck into the Humvee, Jen in the driver's seat this time. Chris started walking closer, and one of the soldiers pointed his rifle up nervously as the tall mercenary walked over.

* * *

><p>"Right…so, where's your Viking in crime?" One of the older men asked.<p>

"I have no idea…" And slowly, he gave a nod, and that's when Jen floored it, making the soldiers all turn round, distracting them as they started to shoot, forgetting about Chris. He then took his pistol out, capped two of the young ones, and wrestled the other two older men to the ground, kicking them down. By this time, Jen had circled around and stopped so he could jump in.

"Phew…okay, where do you suggest we go?" Chris panted, holstering his gun, just as more soldiers showed up, and started firing at them. Jen floored it again.

"I was thinking the Chinese…"


	5. Political Favours

_Chapter Five: _

Jen had held the accelerator to the floor the entire ride to the Chinese Head Quarters, hoping neither of them got shot. She did **not **need another 7.62 mm round in her arse cheek for Fiona to sadistically pull out. She was still cringing at the thought of the feeling of the stupid tweezers she had-

BOOM.

A round from a tank shell nearly collided with them. She looked in the rear view mirror, and her eyes went wide. "Shit, shit shit...they've sent in the Calvary." She exclaimed, gassing the truck even more, the engine roaring in protest. They were being chased into Chinese Territory, however, lucky for them, the Chinese were right there, fighting back, letting the mercenaries go through.

* * *

><p>"So, think they're gonna let us in?" Eva asked from the back seat.<p>

"They like me." Jen chuckled.

"Aye, who wouldn't?" Ewan smirked.

"Shut up Irish." Jen hissed as she pulled up to the old castle. She got out in a hurry and walked up to the stairs, getting nods from the soldiers standing around. She was let in, and of course, like always, Peng was sitting at his desk.

* * *

><p>"Mui! I didn't expect to see you here after getting Solano." He exclaimed, standing up slowly.<p>

"Well, we uh…have a bit of a problem."

"Oh?"

"Well, we got ridiculously drunk last night, and Chris and Mattias took a tank to the AN HQ and well, blew it to hell and back."

"So I have heard. I spared you the men back there when I heard them talking over the radio." He stepped closer to the Brit. "You owe _me_ Mui…"  
>"What can I do for you?"<p>

"Oh I think you know…" Peng looked into Mui's now widened eyes. She knew what he meant and she bit her lip.

"And if I don't?"

"Then I'll make you leave with no protection and you can fight the AN's pissed off troops for yourselves."

"Right…" She paused, looking at the floor. This wasn't so bad, besides, she was used to doing whatever had to be done to negotiate before. Well, time to bite the bullet…

* * *

><p>Jennifer walked back out, feeling like she was going to be sick to her stomach as she approached the others who were leaning on the fence, watching the troops exercise.<p>

"Let's go." She said coldly, her eyes distant. Chris fell into step with her.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Just shut up and get in the truck."

"Aye, what'd ya have to do?" Ewan asked curiously on her other side.

"Nothing."

"Aw come on, what'd ya do to the old bastard?"

"NOTHING EWAN." She shouted, grabbing him by the collar, throwing him back over the fence, glaring into his eyes. "And if you ask again…"  
>"Would it be bad if I said this was turnin' me on?"<p>

"Ugh!" She grunted, throwing him down to the ground behind the fence before she got into the truck. Their best bet was to head home, seeing as they still couldn't find Fiona. Ewan scrambled into the back seat, rubbing his neck.

"Where we headed now?" Eva asked, glaring at the Irishman.

"Home. If Fiona hasn't already been at home all this time, then I don't know, but she can fend for her god damn self."


	6. Out 'Till the Cows Come Home

_Chapter Six: _

"Hey, has anyone seen Misha?" Chris piped up, noticing the pilot was not with them.

"Shit, we lost another one?" Eva scoffed.

"It's Misha, I don't care about him. We need Fiona more." Jen retorted, turning onto the highway towards Maracaibo. "He probably passed out somewhere."

"Fair enough."

* * *

><p>The rest of the drive was a silent one. They were tired; all had headaches and felt like shit. Really, the day could have been used to sleep, but now that they came home empty handed, they all felt the mutual feeling that things could have been left well enough alone. However, their day was not done quite just yet. Jen pulled to a stop as they were approached by a Universal Petroleum truck just ahead of the PMC. It was blocking the road.<p>

"Mind moving your American arses?" Jen called out as she rolled down the window.

"Oh Merc…sorry." One of the snipers replied. He waved to the truck to back up to let them through. Jen spotted the sniper rifle.

"Oh you, have you happened to have seen a red headed woman leaving here at all during the night? We uh, had a party last night and we've seemed to have lost her."

"Well uh…" The UP grunt stood next to the truck. "No, once you guys came back last night, none of y'all left again. Red head was with you."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Bloody. Hell." Jen cursed, nodding at the soldier. "Thank you." She replied as she turned into the driveway. All this time, and Fiona never even left? Jen was pissed.

* * *

><p>"Okay, where the fuck would she-…" Jen stopped dead in her tracks as the four of them ambled into the villa. There Fiona was, slowly stretching as she stood up, mostly dressed, aside from her lack of shoes and socks in the front fountain. She yawned, smacking her lips, a dry taste on her tongue.<p>

"Where the hell have you been?" She asked, looking at her four dishevelled coworkers. They all dropped their mouths in shock.

"We were…" Ewan started.

"Looking for you…"

"What the bloody fuck happened last night?" Jen asked sharply, standing next to her, leaning against the stair case. "Half of us had like little to no clothes on and…"

"That's because you guys were playing strip poker."

* * *

><p>"What?" Chris asked.<p>

"Mhm. Sober, you guys never agree to play because you know that I'm pro at it. So last night I asked you guys, and you fell for it. I won like a thousand bucks, and kept the clothes aside from my shoes and socks, which as of now, I have no idea where they are." The Aussie explained with a smug smirk.

"Uhuh." Eva replied. "Try the couches upstairs." She suggested, as she started back towards her garage. Ewan also began to disperse, shaking his head. All that shit for nothing? He looked down as he went up the stairs and shook his head. How could they have missed her? She was _right_ there. Seriously. Jennifer shook her head, chuckling.

* * *

><p>"So how much did you screw us out of?"<p>

"Thousand bucks give or take."

"Cock…" The Brit cursed, scowling, knowing she sucked royally at poker; that thousand dollars was probably mostly hers.

"Well, I bet you had a fun time waking up…"

"Oh don't even get me-…"  
>"Hey," Misha suddenly appeared, a bottle of booze in his hand, still wearing the bikini top. "What'd I miss?"<p>

* * *

><p>THE END<p>

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Well, there it is. Hope you enjoyed it. And got a kick out of it as much as I did. :)**


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